Let’s Be Honest….Yo Ass ain’t Trynna Heal
Now, before y’all come up under here like “uh-uhhhhh I am healed. My chakras aligned honey!” That is exactly what i’m talking about.
Healing. I swear this word was like new to the streets in 2018. Healing this. Aligning that. Namaste is gone. Healing is in….. Shut. Up.
I am all for folk (especially when they’re Black) finding new ways of expression, tapping into old ways, and forming their own way. That is healing. When we tap into social media’s definition of healing, it‘s almost always synonmous to doing everything but ”healing”.
Yoga does not heal. Time does not heal. Meditation does not heal. Exercising does not heal. Taking that trip does not heal. Falling in love does not heal.
“Hold up girl what the hell are you talking about? Don’t you encourage people to do these things?!”
I absolutely do. In fact, I still encourage it. But those steps are apart of ways to experience a feeling, a moment, especially when you are open/ready for it (truly). When your world is in the midst of being torn down, the last thing you need is a vacation, honestly speaking.
I’ve also fell victim to this mentality. Because I was so mentally worn out, I had things I needed to get off my chest, I had anxieties and worries, I had problems I didn’t face , and wasn’t ready to. So I took the advice from the many memes , and Tumblr/Twitter screenshots , glued the back, applied it right into my life, my issues.
I felt if I took a trip and spent money somewhere else, I wouldn’t think so much….. but I still have to come back home.
I thought if I delve into something romantic , it might soften me up…. but I was still angry inside.
Maybe if I meditated everyday, those thoughts might just go away…. but the meditation just made the thoughts louder at times.
No , one size does not fit all, but sometimes I just wished someone would say : “Hey, i’m not in a good mood today and i’m not going to try to be.” and everyone would be like “okay, cool”. But instead we are to hide our sadness, bitterness, anger, depression, fears…. We share with the world so much, and now that ‘shadow work’ and ‘healing’ are trends (oh brother), we as people are being pushed further into covering up our shit with tapestry and yoga mats.
Those Twitter screenshots, and Instagram memes cannot truly say “it’s okay to no be okay for a while.“ Sometimes the shit storm lasts for a bit longer than expected. Sometimes we already met this lesson but this time around it hurts differently. Sometimes we hit a bump in the road we thought was bit smaller. None of these and the ways you react to these mean that you aren’t growing—I’m going to use this term instead of healing— It is a part of human nature, and the unfortunate hands of a crooked systematic society we are in.
When saying you’re ‘healing’ it is subconsciously admitting something is broken, bruised, needs to be fixed. When you are healing, aren’t you to rest? So why are you beating yourself up because you weren’t as productive as usual? What’s so wrong with a day or two without maintenance?
I get it. I always feel like i’m going to ‘slip‘ further into an episode if I don’t keep myself ”busy“. Are we healing, or are we just keeping ourselves busy , from the true feelings beneath the surface? Why is it now a project or assignment to ‘heal’? Isn’t living and accepting , healing?
No amount of sea moss or rhythmic breathing can truly make you face the roaring ocean inside your belly. The one filled with your fears, your conscious thoughts you deem as ’bad’; This same ocean is also your intuition, your guidance and inner voice.
If you do not truly face your fears, you also cannot truly learn what it is you need to do next on this journey of yours. The surface can look how ever we want it to, but deep below , you cannot hide what’s inside.
Submerge yourself in you. When your thoughts and actions get to a point where you know it can be dangerous, or you really wish to speak to a professional please do not hesitate because that is also a part of healing & growth and there‘s nothing wrong about it. I absolutely love going to therapy , it has been the best thing I could have possibly done for myself and I encourage everyone to find a therapist/social worker/psychologist to freely speak with , judgement free. Wishing mental health care was a lot cheaper, more easily accessible, and diverse...However , due to COVID-19, a lot more mental health facilities/programs have been created to support us.
Yoga can help, not heal. A vacation can help, not heal. A new relationship can help, not heal. Do not distract yourself from feeling/being human and touching emotions that feel icky. It’s okay. That’s growth for ya. Rewording and wiring your brain to recognize your progress as ‘growth’ rather ‘healing’, it may give you less pressure on yourself about “getting it together”.
You already have it together , you’re just learning from a different perspective each time. Breathe. Let it flow.
Attached below are two Ted Talks by two amazing speakers and 24/7 mental health hotlines, free of charge.
These videos are always intended for motivation and a reminder that you are never alone with the way you are feeling or may be thinking about yourself. Hopefully these videos touch you or a loved one.
Dr. Ivan Young : “ Emotional Intelligence: Using the Laws of Attraction”
Jully Black: “How to Rewrite Your Life”
SAMHSA’s National Helpline:
Text NAMI to 741-741.
Connect with a trained crisis counselor to receive free, 24/7 crisis support via text message.
The NAMI HelpLine can be reached Monday through Friday, 10 a.m. – 10 p.m., ET.
1-800-950-NAMI (6264) or info@nami.org
Oh my goodness this is very eye opening and inspiring. Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing a bit of yourself with the world. Love you lots, keep up the amazing work.